Sunday, 3 June 2012

It's the end of the what?

So, the world is coming to an end. For argument's sake, let's imagine that the end is taking the traditional "rapture" format (as opposed to the much more likely zombie apocalypse).

I'm a little hazy on the details, but I'm pretty sure these guys are involved:

You've been a good Christian your entire life. This is your big day! you're going to go hang out with the big guy upstairs, while the rest of us suckers spend the rest of our lives in the burned-out remains of Crap Town.

There's only one problem: what about your pets? What's going to happen to poor Fluffy when you've been taken up into the loving arms of Jesus? Fluffy's going to be left behind with the rest of us sinners (Jesus knows what Fluffy did to your carpet).

No need to fear, Dear Reader! For the low, low (up-front) price of $99.99, I will take care of your pet! That's right - Post-Rapture Pet Care is here for all your rapture & pet-related needs. I'll be here to make sure Fluffy is fed, watered, walked, and loved as long as he lives.

Simply attach a tag to Fluffy's collar with "In case of rapture, contact Random Acts of Randomness", and I'll take care of the rest.

(*Please note: this service is restricted to dogs and cats only. I don't want to be stuck with your snakes, mice, or children in the event of the rapture. )

(**Also note: no refunds in case the rapture is averted.)

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