Taking Advantage of Idiots, Volume 1: PT Barnum

Welcome to the first installment in a new series of posts entitled "Taking Advantage of Idiots".  I'm a firm believer that if you're an idiot, you probably deserve to be taken advantage of (I'm talking about the people who open emails from strangers and are surprised when they get a virus on their computer, or people who believe everything that they read on Facebook).

In honour of this, I would like to discuss P.T. Barnum, a man who definitely took advantage of many, many idiots in his time.

P.T. Barnum became famous in the 1800s for founding the circus that would eventually become Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. He travelled the US with his side show and circus, and he may have been the first "show business" millionaire (but he did not coin the phrase "there's a sucker born every minute", despite rumours to the contrary).

Barnum also was famous for his hoaxes.

The first, in 1842, was the Feejee Mermaid. Supposedly the mummified remains of an actual mermaid, this was really the head and torso of a monkey sewed to the body of a fish (with some paper mache thrown in for good measure).

Around the same time he also claimed that Charles Sherwood Stratton (or General Tom Thumb) was the "Smallest Person Who Ever Walked Alone". Of course, he forgot to mention that Charles (or "Tom") was actually only 4-years-old, not an adult.

There's also the story of how Barnum advertised an exhibit as an Egress (which, of course, means exit), duped people into paying an additional fee to see the exhibit, and leading them out of the museum entirely. Brilliant.

I know that side shows were horrible. But it was the 1800s, and from what I've read Barnum treated his performers quite fairly; under Barnum's management, Charles Stratton (Tom Thumb) became a very wealthy man, living with in luxury until his death at the age of 45.

So let's give a toast to P.T. Barnum, who may not have said it, but surely he felt that there really is a sucker born every minute.

This Week in the News! October 29 Edition

Welcome to the newest edition of "This Week in the News!".

5.Olberman dubs Ford "Worst Person in the World"
I'm not really a Rob Ford fan, but even I think this is a little extreme.

4. Canadian senator wants polar bear as new emblem
This article is from the BBC, but I read basically the same one in the Toronto Star too.  The poor beaver.

3. Utah highway shut after 20m bees escape from lorry
Also from the BBC (note use of "lorry" as opposed to "truck").  20 MILLION bees.  That's a lot of bees. The road was closed for several hours while beekeepers tried to get the bees back.  Most were gone.  Drivers are being told to keep their windows closed.

2. Actress sues Amazon over her age on its IMDB
An unnamed actress is suing Amazon for more than $1 million because IMDB listed her age.

1. Rick Mercer's rant on teen suicide
The rest of the articles are ridiculous.  This one isn't.  Watch this video.

Things that really annoy me: #1. Misuse of Guy Fawkes

I've decided to write a weekly (perhaps more often than weekly) post entitled "Things that really annoy me".  In it I will write about - you guessed it - things that really annoy me.

In volume 1 of "Things that really annoy me", I would like to discuss Guy Fawkes.  You know, the guy (and the word "guy" comes from his name) who tried to blow up British parliament in 1605.  A total hero of the people.  Trying to fight against the establishment, and make it a better world for everyone.

Except that's not what he was doing.

Guy Fawkes was part of a plan to kill the protestant king and put a catholic monarch in his place.

What really annoys me is the use of Guy Fawkes' image (namely, the mask from V for Vendetta) and using it to represent the struggle against government.  Take, for example, the most recent "Occupy Walls Street" protests (or Occupy Toronto, Vancouver, Boston, etc.).  During these activities, I saw multiple pictures of protesters wearing Guy Fawkes masks.  And in Montreal, I saw a statue wearing a mask.

Guy Fawkes wasn't trying to blow up parliament to destroy an evil theocracy, he was trying to install one.

V for Vendetta was an awesome movie.  But for god's sake, please get your facts straight before you slap on the Guy Fawkes mask.

So this November 5, when you remember Guy Fawkes, please remember what he ACTUALLY was doing, and not the movie V for Vendetta.

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

I know of no reason

Why the Gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

This Week in the News! Oct 21 version

I'm finally home after spending a week in Montreal for work.  Montreal is a fabulous city (not that I saw much of it on this trip; I spent 9 hours minimum a day inside a meeting room at the hotel) but I am very, very happy to be home.  I know a lot of crazy things happened this week (the biggest being the death of Gadhafi), but I'd rather focus on the more random things that were newsworthy.  Well, maybe not really "newsworthy".  But they were in the news.

5. Shatner the Humanitarian; he donated his kidney stone to charity
Yes, William Shatner sold a kidney stone and raised $25,000 for charity.  I wonder how much he could get for his toupee.

4. John Lennon's Tooth Up For Auction
If William Shatner's kidney stone made $25k, imagine what John Lennon's tooth could make.  Side note: the tooth has spent the last 40 years in Canada.

3. Texas prisoners lose their lunch
Now when you go to prison in Texas you'll only get 2 meals on the weekend: brunch and dinner.  And if you're expecting a last meal before execution, you're out of luck (thanks to a white supremacist who ordered a giant dinner and didn't eat any of it).

2. Charlie Sheen will be Charlie Sheen for Halloween
In case you were wondering.  And you can be Charlie Sheen too.  All you have to do is buy an incredibly creepy mask like this guy:

1. It's my brother's birthday
Not really a news item, just a statement of fact.  

There's No Such Thing As a Free Lunch, or a Free iPad

We've all seen those ads or links on Facebook: "click here for a free iPad" or "like this for a free Tim Horton's gift card".  Hopefully you've never clicked on them (or any of the "OMG! I can't believe what this girl did" links). They are scams, 99% of the time.  If you're lucky, you're just taken to a website trying to sell you something.  If you're unlucky, you're click-jacked or worse.

I'm always amazed by the number of my Facebook friends who are taken in by these scams.  Or who share information that they saw on their friends' pages without confirming the truth behind the rumours.  Please, take 30 seconds before you click "share" when you read something on Facebook.  And NEVER click on any video link that starts with "OMG".  You're just asking for trouble.

The best source of information about these scams (at least, in my opinion) is Sophos.  Look them up on Facebook, and "like" their page.  They give up-to-date information on the latest Facebook scams (like the free gift cards, the video links, the idiotic memes, etc.) and can protect you from looking like an idiot or getting a virus.

Another great spot is Snopes.  This is where you can find the truth about all those memes that your friends are trying to spread (e.g., fake Amber alerts) as well as a ton of other information about scams.

If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

Their are so many idiot's in this world

I woke up this morning intending to do some work.  I mean actual work for my actual job (even though it's Saturday).

Instead, I saw this picture online:

This sign, printed by a professional sign making company in Toronto, is a disgrace.  There are only 18 words on the sign.  And there are something like 9 errors on it.  When I first read it, I didn't even notice the crazy hyphenation going on; I was too focused on the 5 apostrophes.  Why???  How did this happen???  Let's assume that the sign had to be written by a person, approved by someone else, sent to the printer, made into a sign and then delivered (by the way, there are 5 of these signs posted on the fence in different locations).  There had to be at least 3 or 4 different people who had the opportunity, nay, the obligation, to fix this problem.

And don't even get me started on unnecessary quotation marks.

On second thought, let's take a look at unnecessary quotation marks:

Okay, so it's not a dog. TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO BEWARE OF!!! Is it a cat dressed as a dog??  is it a guy who thinks he's a dog?? I'm so confused.

Poor lobsters.  Do you think they're zombies??

Now this one is just gross.  Of course, maybe their "cheese" is actually some non-dairy substance and they legally can't call it cheese (something similar to Cheez Whiz, maybe?).  If that's the case, then I applaud their honesty.

In summary, there are way too many idiots in this world.  So I guess I should write it like this:

Their are way to many "idiot's" in this world.

Halloween Horror-Fest

In honour of Halloween, Girlfriend decided we needed to do a horror movie marathon.  Starting last weekend, we have been watching a number of scary movies.

Last weekend we watched "28 Days Later" (which should not be confused with "28 Days") and "The Others" (notable for being the last thing Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise worked on together).

Tonight we started with "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" (which really wasn't that scary, but it was interesting watching Deb from Dexter playing someone who could talk without dropping the f-bomb every second word).  And then I was finally able to convince Girlfriend that "Friday the 13th" was worth watching.

I'll admit that the movie is incredibly cheesy.  Bad dialogue, horrible acting, awful hair.  And for the most part, fairly predictable.

But one part had us both screaming (and I'd seen it before).  Watch it if you dare: